


So What?

by morgan_cian



Series: So series [4]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 19:20:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgan_cian/pseuds/morgan_cian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The next step in a poly dynamic and things get sticky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So What?

“I found it fascinating.”

She smiled, “Thank you,” she signed the front cover. “Was there anything specific?” The blank look, empty curve of lips, and snapping the book closed were her answer.

“Hello,” This one was smaller, intelligent dark eyes that reminded her of her boys. “How are you today?”

The girl seemed pleasantly surprised, “I am doing well. I read all of your books, usually more than once.”

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that this was the end of the line. Good, she was tired. Her brief stay at home had done more damage than benefit. She was restless; she wanted to be at home. She needed to call and talk to all of them. “That is quite the compliment. Thank you.” She held her pen inquisitively. She was used to them blurting out the line that they wanted and shuffling along.

The dark eyes just stared back at her. “I’ve never met a published author before.” The girl finally remarked after shifting her weight to and fro. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say or do.”

How lovely. “Is there anything particular you would like me to sign or address the autograph?”

“Whatever you think is best?” The girl bit her bottom lip, a lovely shade of pink dancing along the delicate cheekbones.

Damn. She almost felt the need to squirm. She had never taken a girl to bed. For no other reason that pussy didn’t do it for her, but there was something about this girl. Maybe it was the eyes, so like her boys. Or the fact that she hadn’t fucked in awhile, her current tour and latest book giving her more fits than delight. Or maybe she was just lonely.

Her lips curved upwards in a genuine, friendly smile, “How about we start with a name.”

The girl squeaked made her chuckle. She reached out and held the small hand in her own. “I’m Caroline.”

“Yes of course,” the girl babbled. “I’m Kayla.”

Taking up her pen, she intoned while she scribbled, “To Kayla, as gentle as the curve of a lily, and as fascinating as the colors of dawn…~Caroline”

What the fuck? Her editor would rip her a new one for such a cryptic statement. Feed them, Caro, they are no better than pigs in a trough, he had said blithely. Maybe it was time for new management.

Kayla’s slender fingers trailed over the dry ink. “Perfect,” She breathed, the pink of her cheeks getting darker.

“Are you from around here?” She placed her chin in her palm.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kayla responded, almost eagerly. “I go to the local college.”

A baby, she thought almost bitterly. “Then maybe you could show me where to get a decent cup of coffee.”

The girl brightened but was interrupted by the store manger. “Ms.”

“Just Caroline,” she blurted turning her attention to the annoyance. She held him under the weight of her stare.

“But the contract clearly states…” He blathered.

Looking at the antique watch with the raised fairy on the face, the watch had been a gift from Eric, she said pointedly. “The contract clearly states that I am available for signings until four o’clock. It’s four thirty and your shop is empty.” She pushed herself up grabbing her bag. Ignoring his sputtering, she gestured the girl towards the doors.

“That’s the last time I’ll have one of your kind. Sinful, abhorrent, abnormal…”

She stopped in her tracks. Every logical instinct said to go the door, to ignore it. It’s not like she hadn’t heard it before. So what, they didn't let small minded people bother them. But fuck all, it was her life and her family. She swung around. “Come again?”

“You,” The man spat, “You parading around here, with your smile, everyone knows what a disgusting life you lead. You lead a life that is right out of hell just like the good book says.” His lips turned cruel, “One man and one woman, and you’ve got what…a dozen that you cater to between your whore legs?”

She cocked her head to the side, “And what does it matter to you? My lifestyle did not bring me here today. My lifestyle did not fill your store today. What I do in my bedroom is not your purview? Or do you like to watch?” He flushed. So typical, she thought wryly. “How’s that for sin? Doesn’t the good book say not to covet another man’s wife? A lot of porn models are married, jackass. You lie to your pretty wife while you surf porn? Let me guess you not only jack off to girls but boys as well. Homosexuals are supposed to burn in hell." She spat. "Well, get in line, bud, if I’m headed for hell, then according to your good book, you will probably have choice property next door.”

She turned away. As she walked into the cool evening air, she took a cleansing breath. Belatedly, she realized that Kayla was long gone. Probably for the best,she hadn't spoken to her lovers about bedding any one outside of her family. Some of the biggest mistakes could be made in moments of weakness. If the last five minutes weren’t proof enough. Fishing her cell out of her bag, she called the local airport and made a quick change in plans. Even if her publishing house called for blood, they could go fuck themselves. So what, she was an adult and she knew what she needed.

She needed her family.

She was going home.

*~*

It felt so good to be among her things, her comfort, her boys. She was tired but that could wait. Eric’s arms held her close and George’s head was in her lap. His arms cuddled Kevin and Austin against his chest. They probably looked like a pile of comfortable puppies, but so what, it was their family.

Austin and Kevin babbled, wanting to know about her trip, hinting like the youngsters they were about possible presents. Austin’s hiss of ‘Daddy’ let her know that George probably pinched his cute little ass. It made her smile, giving no more thought to judgmental pricks that didn’t understand, wouldn’t understand, and couldn’t be made to understand.

Eric’s lips against her neck made her sigh, but she tensed when he whispered, “What’s wrong, Caro?” That made George’s eyes flicker upwards as well. Damn, she didn’t want to bring the ugliness up. Not in front of Kevin and Austin, not yet anyway. To her they were like tender growth, slender shoots begging for sunlight. Out here, in the desert, it was pretty much ‘what happens here, stays here,’ mentality. They were protected in their secluded home away from the ugliness that the rest of the world could spread. Not that they didn’t understand ugliness in their own right. The shadows were gone and she didn’t want to bring them back.

“Caro,” George’s broad palm squeezed her thigh, in warning perhaps? That had her lifting an eyebrow and his hand retreated.

“I’m fine, guys, just tired. Too much traveling, I just want to sleep, here with all of you curled up with me.” Kevin’s head lifted off George’s bare chest.

“All of us?” He sounded surprised.

Stretching forward, she cupped his face and ran a thumb against his soft cheek, “All of us,” she replied firmly.

*~*

It had been hard to drag herself out of the warm nest of her bed. But unlike her men, who could sleep all hours and stay up all hours, her internal alarm clock had her rising with the sun, whether she wanted to or not. She showered quietly, slipping into her comfortable loose skirt that swirled about her ankles and a sleeveless tee. She kept her feet bare. She stood over the bed, just taking in the dynamics that her boys conveyed even in a sleep. With her absence, they had gravitated towards the middle of the bed, Kevin’s arms around Austin, whose head rested against his shoulder. George curled around Austin, even as Eric did around Kevin, but her long time lovers reached for each other, joining by hand and the tangle of limbs.

She took her morning coffee into her garden to watch the sun come up over the horizon, shivering at the dew damp grass against her feet. Who would have thought she would end up here? In a family like this? She still felt crabby, because she instantly argued with herself, so what?

She and George grew up together in the same small town. She had been the bookish nerd and he had been the football hero. But they met when George had to fulfill his art credit, deciding to take theater. She was a stage hand and make up artist. She thought he would ignore her or tease her as many other of his ilk had. But George had been different, they would talk as she would work and she would listen as he practiced his lines. Long conversations, turned into long conversations after school at the library or the ice cream shop, she wanted to not like him because everyone flocked to him. She didn’t want to be counted among his adoring fans. But he was persistent and nice. And unbelievably shy. He had twisted his hands on her parents' front porch, asking her our on their first date.

It forged a friendship that would include intimacy and finally sex. She had prepared herself for the eventual teenage angst of being parted from her first lover with going off to college but it didn’t happen. They went to the same school and it was much like high school. She was a theater geek, honing her skills as a make up artist while dabbling in the literature department. He was a star both on stage and the football field. They put in their prerequisite year of living on campus before moving in with one another. Everyone in their home town assumed that they would marry and return home.

“I don’t want to, George,” she had said curled up in his arms, “I want to explore, not be afraid to try new things or new ideas. I know we will walk the life that everyone expects if we go home.”

“Sounds like you have a plan,” she remembered how open and good natured he had sounded.

“What about the west, I’m thinking Vegas, not LA.”

And they had moved there, George landing jobs that would send him into the city and eventually LA. She honed her craft while working on different sets, finding herself working in the porn industry more and more. She also wrote on the side, sometimes never resting as she poured her soul onto paper. They flourished and they met Eric.

It surprised her a little when George looked at a man. They had always had each other. She had been satisfied and it hurt a little that he wasn’t. But as they had way back in high school, they talked. And George shored up his courage to ask the vibrant younger man out. And of course, drama would follow them. Eric didn’t want to break up the relationship that existed between her and George. He had cared deeply but wouldn’t do that to her.

She remembered sitting in the living room and blurting out, “You wouldn’t, we could share.”

And boy did that raise eyebrows. But they were open enough and honest enough to talk about it. And talk and talk. They laid ground rules early. She had sex with Eric but it was just too strange so she clung to George and tried not feel jealous. But with emotions, it wasn’t smooth sailing. They fought, they hurt each other, and they drew closer to one another until they formed their little family. She talked to Eric at length and realized that she wasn’t giving him a chance; he was such a kind and generous person. She let herself open up and enjoy him, both in bed and out.

And they experimented, tried everything they could think of and then somethings over and over. Her sex drive couldn’t keep up with her men, so she just learned to let the little insignificant things go. She could make up enough drama to fill pages of her stories, she would purge it and then curl between her men.

It surprised her when George approached her about dominance and submission. She never really saw that spirit within herself. Plus she was turned off by the extremes she saw when she researched. She wasn’t a guy; she couldn’t make herself into something that she wasn’t. But her long time friend and lover just talked it over with her, what he wanted, what he needed, and the fact that it wasn’t a slight against the relationship the he and Eric explored. George was a classic top in all aspects. Even though he would bottom for Eric, it just didn’t make him feel comfortable and that wasn’t what he was looking for from her either. Since she had known him the longest, his life before they had moved out on their own, he felt safe giving up control to her.

So she began studying, what it took to be a Domme, sifting through what she could use and casting off the parts that made her uncomfortable. She sat down with George and talked for hours, hammering out details to make sure that she wouldn’t hurt him inadvertently. Back then, it cracked her up to think she, at 5’2 could hurt the football hero that towered over her at six feet plus.

Their first scene showed her just how wrong she was. He let himself open up and be vulnerable, trusting that while he was in her hands, he was safe. It amazed her how calm and relaxed he felt after he came back to himself. She couldn’t imagine that not being a part of her life. It just fulfilled her even more knowing that she could take care of him, even as he and Eric cared for her.

So what? Why was she feeling so discontent? Was it the pretty girl? No, not really. She didn’t really want to bed a girl, she had just been lonely. Her hands crossed over her abdomen.

In the cool dawn air, she had to admit it to herself or she would never be able to come clean to her guys.

Her birthday was on the horizon. And as each year slid by, she was knowingly acknowledging that she was giving up the chance to bear a child. It had been one of the sticky points that had raised the roof so many times in those early days. If she did conceive, whose child would it be? How would it change the dynamic, from going from three to two who shared another level of intimacy that the third never would. Would she become a baby factory, appeasing the male instinct to breed? She snorted. Like hell.

And now, there was Austin and Kevin. Would they feel strange with a child added to their mix? Would it bring down their house of cards? Hell, she should just look into adoption and be done with it.

But deep down, she knew she would never feel fulfilled. She wanted to carry a life within her. But how would a young life grow within their unique family? Thinking about the recent brush of ugliness, she didn’t know if she could bear it. And who knew, at her age, it could be folly to attempt to even try and have a child.

She sucked in a shriek when George dropped to his knees before her. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard his approach. He laid his head in her lap and wound his arms around her calves.

Running her fingers in his hair, she breathed deeply, regaining her equilibrium. She didn’t realize just how much she needed him as much as he needed her. She felt so out of control. But for George, it would settle her emotions, focusing her attention on him. The discussion was for another day, if ever. Right now, she had a responsibility that she cherished.

She squeezed his nape and felt him shudder. “Talk to me, sweet boy,” she commanded lowly, slipping into the frame of mind and tone of voice that would bring George down and deep where he needed to be.

“It’s been awhile, my lady,” he said quietly, keeping his eyes downcast. “It’s been too long.”

“You should have told me before I left,” She scolded tightening her grip. “It is one of our agreements, you are strong enough to tell me.” Lowering her voice even more, “It is also a breach that requires punishment. I will meet you in the playroom in ten minutes.”

He nuzzled against her thighs and being lonely she almost let him get away with it. Almost, “Go now, or it will only be worse.”

His strong legs carried him back into the house quickly. She threw out the remains of her cold coffee and began her own meditation, preparing herself.

She walked into the playroom where he waited. They didn’t do costumes. Her bare feet quiet on the hardwood. He was naked but for his collar and leash. Winding it about her hand, she pulled him down to eye level. She made note that his eyes were already half mast. Good.

“Set up the sling,” she commanded. Sometimes being short was a bitch.

He was quick and sure, hanging the sling from the hook. She lifted a brow and had him scooting onto the seat so that she could secure the cuffs. “Punishment first,” she stated gathering the things that she needed. He flinched as she covered his hands in mitts and tightened the cuffs. Working from head to toe, she secured his head, covered his eyes, and slipped the gag between his teeth. She then bound his chest and shoulders. She refused to put nipple rings on him, he hated them. At his groin, she slipped on the cock ring, binding his hips so that he was immobile. Tapping his knee, he lifted his leg. She had his ankles secured leaving the entrance to his body open and exposed. She sat between his spread thighs and methodically stretched him. She heard a muffled whine. It was part of his punishment and he knew it. It didn’t mean that she would hurt him. Sliding in a plug that she knew he was more than comfortable with, she ran her hand along his skin. The final thing was to take away his hearing.

Leaning beside his ear, she whispered, “Fifteen minutes, your threshold before safe wording was forty-five, so that is not an option. I won’t leave you.” The mewl broke her heart as she slipped in the ear plugs and set the timer, she didn’t touch him but she sat close enough to watch his reactions and to gain a sense if got to be too much.

He fought it three minutes in. He howled through the gag. But it was anger, he was refusing to let go. Eight minutes, his breath gusted through his nose, almost snorting like an angry bull. But at ten minutes, his breathing became deep and at fifteen, he was completely still.

She eased the plugs from his ears, telling him quietly what she was going to do and warned him that she was going to touch him. She uncovered his eyes slowly, noting that they weren’t focused and that he was down pretty deep. She worked her way back down his body methodically until only the cuffs around his wrists and ankles bound him.

Pushing her hand under his nape, she massaged, “What do you want, sweet boy?”

He licked his lips turning his head toward her. “Need you, my lady…” he trailed off but that was to be expected. “Like it here too.”

She smiled and began stroking his body, listening to the sounds that he made, enjoying the twitching of his skin. When he began twisting, she eased him out of the sling and waited until he got his bearings. Crossing over to the bed, she rucked up her skirt over her thighs and spread her legs.

“Kneel,” She ordered. He was graceful, his posture beautiful. “Crawl.” His brawny body moved like a tiger towards her. “Service.”

He moaned, his head going between her legs. She hissed as he used his mouth. Service was an agreed upon term, it meant no hands. That command was ‘satisfy.’

She gripped the mattress and bucked forward. His tongue was wicked. Service also meant no hands for her as much as she wanted to grab his head and shove him into her.

“That’s it,” she felt it boil within her and saw no reason to hold back. She cried out and came, his busy tongue never stopping. And it wouldn’t until she gave the command.

“No,” she almost growled it out. He seconded the disappointment with a groan as he sat back on his heels. Panting, she pushed herself up on unsteady legs, letting her skirt fall. She brought back a warm, damp towel and cleaned the traces of her from his face.

He was coming back, his smile shy as he kissed her wrist. “You okay,” She cupped his face and rubbed her thumbs along his cheekbones, his nose, and his jaw.

“My lady,” he said happily, his tone fuzzy still.

She smiled back at him, “That’s right; I’m your lady, sweet boy, now into bed.” He crawled like a hyper puppy, curling under the blankets. She knew that he was still hard as rock, but that wasn’t his focus. He was floating pretty well and when he came down fully he would be a horny beast. She was horny right now. She almost envied the fucking that Austin would get.

“Can you sleep my own?” He pushed into her touch and his eyes closed obediently. Yeah, he had needed it pretty bad as ready as his responses were. She kissed his forehead and dimmed the lights. He would sleep for at least an hour or more. She would make sure Austin would find him. They had begun letting the younger lover into the scenes more and more. Austin didn’t want to be a part of the D/s relationship, and that was fine, but he did want to be close to his Daddy and felt connected when he was a part of the after care.

But first things first, she was on a hunt. She found him in the shower, alone. Good. She didn’t even discard her clothes. Winding her arms about his naked body, she laid her head against his back. “Fuck me.”

Eric turned with a growl and pushed her up against the cool tile. His slender fingers make short work of her shirt, leaving it in a sodden heap at their feet. Her skirt he gave up on and shoved it up about her hips, “Jesus, Caro,” he gasped as he thrust into her.

“So good,” she moaned happily, biting into his neck, digging her nails into his back. He responded by thrusting harder. The unforgiving tile aided in forcing him deeper within her body. She pushed against him, throwing her leg about his hip. He kissed his way down her chest until he pulled her nipple between his teeth. He bit down hard, causing her to cry out and unable to prevent her release.

“Bastard,” she panted against him.

“Damn right,” He agreed, turning her body so that she braced her arms against the shower wall. His thrust was just as brutal as the first, his hips slapping against her, the sound deadened by the water that continued to rain down.

He leaned over her back, “Missed you so much, Caro.” His rhythm faltered his body wrapping around her own as he came within her.

She allowed him to pick her and carry her; her legs wouldn’t hold her up. Wrapped in a warm towel, she watched him dry off. “Hey you,” she pushed against his hip with her foot.

“Hey back,” He said with a smile, tapping her nose before leaning down to kiss her. “You take care of George?”

“He’s sleeping, I need to tell Austin.” She made to move off the counter, but he stopped her.

Looking at the clock, “He should be fucking. I warned Austin when George went to find you.” He lifted her over his shoulder causing her to squeal. When she drummed his back with her fists, he slapped her on her bare ass.

She was unceremoniously dumped onto the bed beside a sleeping Kevin. The boy’s head shot up, “Wha? Who?”

She reached out and pressed him back down, “Just Eric being an ass, go back to sleep?”

The boy blinked and then snuggled against his pillow. She was reassured by his steady breathing. She cursed when a pile of clothing hit her in the face. “You wanna fight, punk?”

Eric just laughed. “Come on, get dressed. I want a big breakfast.”

“Brunch,” she corrected and he just rolled his eyes. “I’ll do waffles if you do the omelets.”

“Deal,” and he headed out of the bedroom. She shrugged on his t-shirt that was way too big and the boxers that she was thankful had an elastic waistband. Kissing Kevin’s forehead she followed Eric downstairs.

It felt so good to be home.

“So are you going to tell me why you came home so early?” Eric said nonchalantly setting out eggs and fresh vegetables.

She hunched her shoulders, “Can I wait to tell you and George at the same time so I won’t have to repeat myself?”

Eric just studied her for a long moment, “Agreed. But you aren’t going to get off so easy on what else has been bothering you.”

She froze.

“Uh huh,” He clucked. “Do you not think we noticed? Caro,” He turned and touched her face. “The babies in strollers, the commercials for diapers? The browsing through the children’s sections only to tell us you couldn’t find your way?” He leaned back and crossed his arms. “I told George I would talk to you first. He’s afraid your history together would let you cloud the subject. I won’t.”

“We agreed…” She began but he shushed her.

“We agreed on a subject that was way too big to tackle among all the other issues we were covering at the time. It’s different now, we are all different, older, more mature. I think it’s time to talk about it again.”

“But what about the boys?” She shot back mulishly, “Don’t you think they need to have a say? I am thankful they haven’t gone screaming into the hills yet.”

Eric just gave her a look that told her she was over reacting. “I think we have underestimated Kevin and Austin, don’t you? I have, George did, and now you are. We can’t decide for them what they are going to do without talking to them.”

“Who would it be?” She hissed.

“George,” Eric replied causing her mouth to drop open. “So what? You thought I would stomp like a two year old on a tantrum and demand that it be me?” Eric just shook his head. “Caro, I knew back from the very beginning, if this ever came up it would be George. You know that too.”

He turned towards the window. “I do ask for the option of a second, if everything goes well and your health is safe. I was an only child growing up.”

“But in this type of family?” She muttered, all thoughts of cooking flying out the window.

George’s arms pulled her against his chest. “It’s our family, Caro. It always has been, we decide. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.”

“How much did you hear?” Her voice sounded small in her own ears.

“Enough.” He turned her in his arms. “I say we talk to our boys over breakfast. Neither one of us are getting any younger. I agree with Eric, if your health is at risk, then the discussion is closed. I don’t want to invite any nay-sayers into our home through adoption. Hell, if we can’t have a kid, then we’ll get a puppy.”

“I like puppies,” Austin chimed in, dressed in a comfortable robe, a limp in his gait.

“We’re getting a puppy?” Kevin questioned, opening up the refrigerator and pulling out the orange juice.

“Stop,” She yelped, “Family meeting, now.”

“Hungry,” Eric refuted.

“I don’t care,” she replied and pointed to the table. “No more keeping things in remember? You wanted to talk, we talk.”

It was like the early days. No idea, no argument, no thoughts were ignored. Voices raised, chairs were shoved back to allow for pacing. And agreements were worked through.

Eric and George held each other, murmuring words that she could not hear. She had an idea when Eric took George’s face in his palms and kissed him deeply. Tears leaked down his cheeks as he burrowed into Eric’s embrace.

She turned her gaze onto the two boys, still seated at the table. They looked a little shell shocked, but she was proud that they had each contributed their thoughts and feelings.

“Talk now or forever hold your peace,” she said gently.

“You really are gonna be a momma,” Kevin said, awe in his voice.

“Maybe,” she replied, “Hopefully.” It did make her heart hurt at all the possibilities.

“And my daddy is going to be a daddy,” Austin said thoughtfully.

“What will we be called?” Kevin asked cocking his head to the side. But before she could speak he snapped his fingers, “George will be Poppa, because he’s already Austin’s daddy. Eric will be Da.”

“Da?” Eric questioned moving back to the table and pulling Kevin into his lap.

He scrunched his nose at his lover, “You know like the Gaelic tradition, it’s not as stuffy as Father.”

Eric chuckled, “And what about you and Austin?”

Austin looked to George, “I think we should be called by our names, daddy.” His voice was serious and he held up a hand when George began to protest. “We don’t have the same relationship with Momma like you and Eric. I don’t think it would be a problem,” he directed that statement to Kevin who was nodding his head in agreement before leaning back against Eric’s chest.

“Maybe we should get a dog after all,” She muttered and ducked at the flying napkins.

*~*

She was exhausted and exhilarated. The midwife bid her goodbyes. She had opted to have the baby at home. She just didn’t want to deal with the small minded mouths that thought it was okay to express their opinions. She only wanted there to be happy memories on a day like this.

Austin and Kevin curled on each side of her. She carded their soft hair as she watched her long time lovers.

George’s big body dwarfed the small bundle that he held in his hands. Eric held him close, alternating between humming and kissing his lover’s tear stained face. Her heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest.

“So what are we going to name her?” She asked breaking the tranquility.

Eric and George looked at one another.

“Hope,” Kevin said quietly. And they all agreed.


End file.
